From The Other Side
by AG-Prentice
Summary: [Prequel to Children of Fate] As she tries to help Colleen through difficult times, Michaela remembers a time when she, too, struggled to keep her marriage from falling apart and had to make difficult decisions and live with the consequences. *WARNING* if the depiction of severe mental illness and its archaic and brutal treatment in the 19th century bothers you, please do not read.
1. Prologue

**From The Other Side**

 **by**

 **A. G. Prentice**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS and the Sullivan Company.**

 **─ Prologue ─**

1888, Friday, December 21st

Katherine Sully sighed contentedly as she watched the Colorado landscape rolling by. The Christmas holidays were here at last, after months of hard work in college, months of missing her family dreadfully. True, the Cooks' home was much more than just a place to sleep and eat while she was working towards her teaching degree. She was luckier than most of her classmates who had to put up with crowded, noisy boarding houses while she could study in the quiet of her brother-in-law's library, enjoy delicious meals every day, play with her niece Rebecca… feel home.

Unlike her sister Colleen, she had soon lost interest in city life. Though she had made new friends and immensely enjoyed going to the theatre, attending concerts and operas, most of the time she felt homesick, missing the simpler life of Colorado Springs. It had grown into a much larger town yet it had kept its rustic air.

Katie cast a glance to her niece who was quietly dozing, lulled by the lurching movement of the train carriage, her small travelling hat askew upon her golden locks. Six-year-old Becky was the most enjoyable asset of her student life, as Katie could help her with her reading, play house and prepare her to be a big sister in the spring. This thought diverted Katie's focus to her older sister who was sitting right before her. Colleen was trying her best not to show how uncomfortable the train ride was for her. Though morning sickness had not been too bad during the first trimester, the constant swaying had the worst effect imaginable on her queasy stomach.

"Are you sure you don't want me to fetch you a cup of tea, Colleen? I can't stand watching you getting greener with each mile!" Andrew whispered worriedly.

"I told you I can't stomach a thing," his wife groused through clenched teeth. The mere effort of talking only made her more nauseated. She sprang out of her seat, her handkerchief pressed tightly to her lips, and rushed to the compartment washroom, a rather upset Andrew on her heels. Katie remained seated, her arm wrapped securely around Becky's small shoulders. She had to trust Andrew about taking care of Colleen, yet she wished with all her heart the train would go faster: the sooner they arrived, the better. And Ma would be there to handle things.

Her thoughts turned back to her hometown and the family. The whole clan was being reunited for Christmas, as promised. She couldn't wait. She smiled again.

Five long, grueling hours later the train finally reached Colorado Springs. Colleen felt absolutely wrecked, but she managed to put on a brave face for the family's benefit. The last thing she wanted was having Dr. Mike fret and make a big deal out of it.

Andrew was relieved, though he wondered how in Heaven's name they would make it back. He would have to watch over her like a hawk, and he knew without a doubt that his mother-in-law would do the same.

Katie, too, was more than glad to be home and out of the stuffy train carriage, breathing in the fresh although quite cold air. She was firmly holding Becky's hand, who was jigging up and down with excitement. All four of them scanned the crowd on the platform, looking for a familiar face. Yet the first familiar face Katie spotted was the last one she wanted to see. She let out an aggravated groan as Henry Ellison walked timidly toward her, bearing a large bouquet of white lilies. How embarrassing, in front of everyone! She turned around, ignoring him, and searched almost frantically for sight of her mother, her father or whoever would be kind enough to save her from the annoying presence of this most undesirable suitor!

"Hello, Katherine."

 _Too late…_

"Hello, Henry," Katie icily answered. _Please, just go away, you stupid stalker!_ "Have you seen my mother?" she asked with a calculated haughtiness, brushing the proffered bouquet aside with the back of her hand as if it was a nasty, thorny bush of poisonous plants. Henry's disappointment at Katie's less than pleased reaction was written all over his face. In a feeble voice, he breathed: "Yes, she's right behind you."

But Katie did not hear him for her mother had called out her name at the same time. Not caring she was being rude, the young woman spun around and threw herself in her mother's waiting arms. They hugged tightly for a long moment, tears of happiness stinging both their eyes.

"Mama!" Suddenly, Katie was no longer a "grown woman" of seventeen but a little girl who clung to her mother. Though they had seen each other on Thanksgiving, and they could even phone to each other since the Clinic was newly equipped with the contraption, the last four weeks had seemed terribly long to them.

"Missed you, missed you, missed you," the girl repeated at least ten times before stepping back. They threaded arms and walked to the waiting area, where the rest of the family was greeting Colleen, Becky and Andrew, totally oblivious of the poor, forlorn figure that watched them stroll away and whose bouquet was withering pitifully in the frozen mud where it had fallen.

Actually, Michaela had noticed and recognized the young man who seemed so enamored with her daughter. Good thing Sully had not witnessed the exchange, for he would probably have rushed to Katie's defense and shooed away the undesirable suitor quite bluntly. Katie certainly knew how to fend for herself, but she was still her papa's little girl. Sully had once confessed having mixed feelings about his daughter's growing up, becoming a woman and going off to college… Of course, the fact that she did not seem much interested in courting boys, neither in Denver nor in Colorado Springs, was somewhat lessening his trepidation. She obviously did not appear as anxious to get married as many girls her age, what with the way she would always dismiss any potential suitor. This, however, worried Michaela a little. The few times she had brought up Katie's love life in their mother-daughter conversations, the girl had shrugged dismissively, claiming that boys her age were as clumsy as bragging, boring and careless, and that the only exceptions she knew of were her father and brothers. Michaela had to admit that her husband's rare qualities were indeed hard to compete with for any man who would try and win Katie's heart.

She also knew that Katie still needed a few years to become more mature and sensible. If she was more interested in her classes than in boys for the time being, it was more than all right with her parents. She was only seventeen, after all!

Michaela looked on happily as daughter and father reunited. Katie had almost knocked her father over in her exuberance. Oh, yes, she was still a little girl, Michaela mused.

It was decided that the Cooks would stay at the homestead for their entire sojourn. Andrew retired early, his exhausting schedule at his practice having taken its toll, what with all the usual early winter ailments and then the long train ride. Katie went upstairs soon after to put her niece to bed and tell her a bedtime story. Then Joseph and Laura, the two youngest Sully children, bid goodnight to the adults as well, and disappeared into their room, Laura delighted to double up with her sister and niece. Michaela and Sully shared a smile as they heard the children bid each other good night so animatedly, as if having three houseguests was the most exciting thing in the world.

As she put the dishes away, she noticed that Colleen, whose drawn features clearly indicated her state of fatigue, had not yet gone to bed. Michaela knew her oldest daughter well enough to guess that something was weighing heavily on her mind.

Sully had perceived that something was amiss, too. In his usual unobtrusive way, he pecked Colleen's cheek lightly, winked at his wife, and retreated upstairs, leaving the two women alone for a much needed talk.

"Are you still feeling poorly, Sweetheart?" Michaela asked softly, her hand flying instinctively towards her daughter's forehead and cheeks, checking for any sign of fever or cold sweat.

"Not really, Ma, don't worry. The chamomile tea worked just fine…" Colleen hesitated a few seconds before she added: "Ma, I don't know what to do."

Michaela waited with bated breath for Colleen to elaborate. She was well aware that her oldest daughter was not really happy with her life, though she had never breathed a word about it to anyone. Katie had been their mother's spy for the past fifteen months, during which she had reported faithfully, though discreetly, what was going on in the Cook household. Michaela sat closer, perching herself on the cushioned arm of the wingback chair and drawing Colleen in a comforting embrace.

"You see, I… I know you're all worried about me, the new baby, that's sweet but…" Colleen sighed, frustrated with herself. She wanted to get it off her chest, yet she did not have a clue how to do this without upsetting her ma. At a loss about where to begin, she just spoke the first thing that crossed her mind: "How did you know you were making the right choice?"

Puzzled, Michaela could not answer right away: "Which choice?

"Marrying Sully, having your children after us… and before that, deciding to become a doctor against all odds, coming here and starting over, raising us by yourself… how did you know, then, that you would succeed?"

Michaela chuckled in spite of herself: "Believe me, I didn't know. Most of the time, I was scared, or riddled with doubts. You have no idea how many times I came close to back away."

It was Colleen's turn to look baffled. "You? But you're so brave! Ma, look at all you've done!"

"Well, of course, from any outside point of view, my actions may appear that way…"

"But…"

"No, no, no, don't say that I'm being modest," Michaela interrupted her daughter's objection sternly. "I'm not. I'm proud of what I accomplished, of course, yet, there's always a part of me that feels that nothing I could ever do would be enough… Besides, you also have every reason to be proud of your accomplishments…"

The last remark did not have the anticipated effect, for Colleen let out a mournful sob.

"Some accomplished physician I am!" she cried, finally allowing all the bitterness to burst forth. "Things in Denver are just as bad as they were in Philadelphia; they don't let me in the operating theatre, or take care of the complicated cases… They keep sneering at me, thinking they're so smart, and in front of the patients, no less! They treat me no better than they do the nurses sometimes! And Andrew is almost as much in disgrace as I am, I can't help but fear that he resents me for that, I can't shake the memory of that day he told me that he'd rather have his future wife home than at work alongside him ! Now he has to stand the ridicule of being married to a female doctor… And I feel terrible because there are times when I'm so jealous… of you, of the perfect couple you make with Sully, the way you managed to gain the respect of so many people…" Colleen could not go on as she sobbed harder, her flushed face buried in her mother's blouse.

Michaela was overwhelmed by her daughter's confession, so much that she felt her own tears threatening to spill over. She waited a little, allowing Colleen to cry the tears that needed to be cried, stroking her shoulders in large, soothing circles, the way only a mother could, before speaking up.

"You listen to me, Sweetheart. You're worth a thousand of those who look down their nose at you. Don't you ever let anybody convince you of the contrary, you hear?"

Colleen only blinked skeptically, so Michaela went on: "It seems that you're facing harder challenges than I ever did, but that doesn't mean you must doubt your abilities, or your choices. I understand your jealousy. You're right, I'm lucky, incredibly so, and I'm afraid it has somehow made me forget that the work conditions for a female physician outside of Colorado Springs are still less than enviable."

"I wish I could come back here and work with you…" sighed Colleen wistfully.

"You know I'd love that, but what about Andrew? And Rebecca? The new baby?"

"Well, I don't think Becky would mind, for she would see you and the whole family more often, and I know she also has a few friends here. As for Andrew… I'm afraid he'd feel even more held back in his career here than he's already been in Denver, Boston or Philadelphia because of me. I've seen the way he thrived at work while I stayed home to take care of Becky when she was still so little. The way city life agrees with him. Lord knows I still love him, want the best for him. He's been so content with his life since we had our daughter, and I know he's overjoyed with this one as well," she added, patting ever so lightly the barely discernible bulge under the tight bodice of her travelling gown.

"I wish there was a definite method about finding a balance between work and family life that I could give you. Unfortunately, there isn't. The only advice I can give you is to talk to Andrew, and repeat to him what you've just told me. He'll listen."

"You think so?"

"I know so." Well, not really, but it was not precisely the right moment to criticize her son-in-law.

"Thank you, Ma, for listening, for caring so much."

"Oh, Sweetheart! You know you can always come to me, don't you?"

Colleen nodded.

"I know I already told you that but… my real Ma couldn't have found a better person to take care of us. It still holds, even after all these years."

Mother and daughter hugged tightly, until Colleen could no longer suppress the exhausted yawn that was tugging at her jaw.

"Bedtime for everyone," Michaela chuckled. Colleen smiled at last.

"Good night, Ma."

"Sweet dreams, Colleen." She followed her daughter upstairs, and slipped as quietly as possible into her bedroom. The lamps were out, but the firelight was enough for her to see that Sully had fallen asleep sitting up in bed, obviously waiting for her. Her heart swelled with love for him. Eighteen years, twenty if they counted their courtship, he had been by her side, come Hell or high water, in spite of all the doubts, all the setbacks, through the misunderstandings, the harsh words exchanged in the heat of vicious arguments. She had advised Colleen to be honest with Andrew, because she had experienced herself that even the bluntest honesty was preferable to retreating into a brooding silence. Whatever the Cooks would do, they would have to compromise and find a solution they both could live with.

She sighed, remembering her past troubles with her husband, those terrible times when trust and understanding had been in short supply. Of course Colleen could not possibly remember, for more than fifteen years ago, she was just beginning a new chapter of her life, both as a newlywed and as a new medical student, experiencing the weird mix of excitement, eagerness and terror one feels when entering adulthood.

But Michaela could not forget that time…


	2. Chapter 2

**\- ACT I** -

 **sc. 1**

 _1873, Saturday, August 16_ _th_

Michaela trudged wearily to her room, her eyes stinging with fatigue. Her daughter's wedding had come and gone without a hitch, and now, after two extremely busy weeks planning it, everybody could go back to their everyday life. The shock of what still seemed to her a harsh decision had not yet worn off, along with the trepidation that came with letting one's child grow up, make their own decisions, for better or worse. She could not begin to fathom how she would overcome the whirl of emotions Colleen's wedding and impending departure for Philadelphia had stirred in her motherly heart.

She snickered ruefully at herself: she would drown herself in her work and duties, as usual… and turn to Sully for love, comfort and reassurance more than ever.

The house had been straightened out, Colleen's things were almost all packed. Michaela stayed a long time on the threshold of her eldest daughter's bedroom, which suddenly seemed even emptier than when Colleen had gone off to the Seminary in Denver. She wondered if her own parents had felt the same heartache when she had left to go to Medical School in Philadelphia. And to think that now Colleen was married! _How true that children grow up too fast_ , Michaela mused as she moved to Katie's room. The toddler was fast asleep, worn out from her duties as flower girl, and all the dancing at her big sister's wedding. Leaning over the crib, Michaela stroke her baby girl's fine, pale blond locks, inherited from Sully's mother, the first Katherine Sully. _Two-year-old already!_ She was running everywhere, out of her diapers and talking a storm, such a joy to be around... yet, a lone, bitter tear rolled down Michaela's cheek as she thought that Katie's little brother would have turned three months had he been carried to term. Guilt and pain tore at her heart…

For the past few months, she and Sully had diligently tried to get pregnant, to no avail, and now Michaela was plagued with thoughts that her miscarriage in the fall had been a sign that her childbearing years were over, that it was too late, and they would never have a second child. It drowned out the voice of her reason and her professional experience in obstetrics, which both told her that there were plenty of women who had children past their forties, after miscarriages, and nothing to worry about…

Giving herself a firm mental shake, she rose, and focused her thoughts to the most pressing matters: help Colleen with the last of the packing; find a new physician, one she could trust and consult with on difficult cases, to take care of the patients at the Chateau; officially welcome the new manager with her fellow council members; urge the very same people and the other members of the school board to do something before the small building fell apart, and hire a second teacher to relieve Mrs. Slicker of her overcrowded class… and still on top of her list, written in huge capital letters: a new child with Sully… Maybe they could plan a short overnight trip to their waterfall, or to the small clearing where their special willow tree stood[1], for good luck. Michaela had calculated the date at least a dozen of times, and she was sure that they had conceived Katie, three years ago, under this tree. Sully had laughed when she had told him, and had commented: "You're probably right, maybe it was no coincidence this little girl was born under a tree!"

Well, if their babies were destined to get born under the same circumstances that they were conceived, that meant that she would have to find a way to lure her husband into the recovery room at the Clinic they had celebrated their reunion when Sully had returned home from Nevada[2]. She blushed, still feeling brazen at remembering how she had ended up with Sully in one of the beds for an absolutely non-professional reason!… But then, conceiving their much-wanted child in their bed… She chided herself for being so superstitious, in the process pushing back the disturbing memory of her miscarriage that was still lurking at the edge of her trail of thoughts. Their bed was the most fitting place in the entire world for making a baby and Sully was presently waiting for her there…

She stopped short at the doorway as she noticed Sully's traveling satchel on the bed, brimming with clothes.

"What the...? Where…? Sully, what are you doing?" she stammered.

Sully cast her a fleeting glance before going back to his task.

"Just what it looks like: I'm packin'," he answered, his tone neutral to mask his guilt. He felt bad having to leave for his next survey so soon after the previous one, and even worse for not telling his wife sooner. He had put off telling her about Welland Smith's new request until it was too late, and now he was with his back to the wall.

"Ready? Whatever for? Don't tell me you're going on another surveying trip, and… uh oh! Telling me just slipped your mind," Michaela sneered.

Sully knew how easily her derisive remark could lead to a full-blown argument if he answered in kind, but refused to let it escalate. So he bit down the petulant retort that was rolling off his tongue and, with as much calm as he could muster, explained, handing a crumpled telegram to her:

"The telegram arrived on the day Andrew proposed Colleen, and you were so upset already, between comin' to terms with Colleen's gettin' married an' havin' to be in Philadelphia sooner than expected, bein' the one responsible for findin' a new doc for the Chateau…"

"You really thought that I couldn't take the news that you had to go?" Michaela asked, her jaw about to drop in disbelief. "I'm perfectly aware of the terms of your contract with Mr. Smith, so why are you acting like… like you've gone behind my back?" _That's what hurt_ , she wanted to hurl at him, unwilling to pause and consider why she suddenly felt so infuriated, or why she could only think of that fateful night he had sneaked out to Palmer Creek… it only would only make her wonder, much later, whether she had really forgiven him. Obviously, something as ostensibly insignificant as Sully preparing to go on a surveying trip without telling her could trigger off the resentment and pain she had gone through back then all over again.

"Listen… I'm really sorry, you're right, shoulda told you right away. Let's not fight 'bout such a silly thing… C'mon," he murmured pleadingly, tugging softly at her arm.

Though still upset, she stepped willingly into his embrace. She might as well make the most of his presence…

Sometime later, Sully rolled away from her, still panting, tiredly kissed her mouth one last time, and it was not long before he was sound asleep. For her part, Michaela could not close her eyes, kept wide awake by her muddled feelings of frustration, disappointment, and a strange kind of loneliness, as if Sully was not really next to her. Their encounter had started out pleasantly enough, but the more it had gone on, the less connected to him she had felt, to the point she had feigned reaching release, hoping it would speed along the process. She now wondered grimly if they both had reached that point when some couples drifted apart after being very much in love. She even feared that her mother had actually been right when she had, not so long ago, asserted that 'a good match is more enduring than love'… Michaela had been so sure that theirs was the best of matches, so convinced they could triumph over any trial thrown their way, that never once had she envisaged her marriage to Sully falling into the dull routine of two people living under the same roof, sleeping in the same bed, each fulfilling their duties, but without really sharing a life.

Suddenly, her mind rebelled. _You know it is *not* true_. _Right now, you're not thinking straight, you're exhausted and overwrought_ , soothed the little voice of reason, sounding strangely like Cloud Dancing's. _You cannot let your doubts and fears sway your faith. And you know that when something is off balance, it is up to you to find a way to restore it._

Restore the balance: another priority on her list. She glanced at Sully, wondering if he was also experiencing this disconnected feeling. And that little getaway she had wished for earlier seemed suddenly more urgent. As soon as he came back, they would talk about it. No buts. No Clinic, no patients, no surveys. Only the two of them, alone. _Doctor's orders_ , she would tell him. Feeling a little more at peace, she finally allowed sleep to claim her...

* * *

"Michaela! Michaela, wake up!" Sully's voice urged her. She groaned in protest. It fell like she had only slept less than half an hour. Yet, as a doctor, she was used to being up at all hours, so she shook herself awake to face any emergency. She felt Sully's hands unfastening deftly the buttons of her nightgown, and she realized he was not actually helping her getting ready faster when his lips sought and found hers. She did not protest, nor did she push him away, she merely let him take the lead, her mind still not alert enough to remember that this was the morning he had to go. The only thought that crossed her mind as she shifted position to accommodate him better was that they had to make love as often as possible to optimize their chances to conceive, and she might as well try to enjoy herself a little better than the previous night… That is, until she became aware of something unusual in Sully's movements, something she remembered having felt, too, that tense night when Sully had crept up to their room, when they had desperately made love and when she had very possibly conceived their second child. She could not pinpoint what it was exactly, name it, let alone explain, but it cut right into her heart and flesh. She wrapped herself more tightly around his torso and waist, holding him captive inside her, all the while searching for any sign that might reassure her that they were still one soul, one heart as much as they were one body. But that oneness never came and before she knew it, Sully had rolled out of bed and started getting ready, leaving her close to tears, overcome with a bitter loneliness once again.

Later, on the homestead threshold, she halfheartedly kissed him goodbye.

"Please say goodbye again to Colleen and Andrew for me, tell them how sorry I am for not being here to see them off tomorrow, will ya?"

Michaela swallowed the diatribe she felt rising to her lips like a wave of bile about how impolite and disrespectful it was from the bride's father to go off like that, relying on other people to bid them farewell. Now was not the right time to start an argument though, so she kept her voice neutral as she answered: "Don't worry, I will as soon as I see them."

With that, Sully hugged Brian and Katie, both droopy-eyed, jumped onto his horse's back, and departed, pausing to wave at his family one last time before he disappeared from their sight.

"Ma, is everythin' all right with you and Pa?" Brian asked as they came back inside. Michaela inwardly rued her carelessness: years of working alongside Dorothy at the Gazette had sharpened Brian's eye for details that escaped most people, so it came as no surprise that he had noticed that something had gone awry between his parents. She should have composed herself better. Now it was too late, but she still tried to placate her son:

"Yes, don't worry Brian. It's just that I'm a bit taken aback that Sully has to go right after your sister's wedding, without even saying properly goodbye to her. As if this survey couldn't have waited another couple of days," she added under her breath.

"From what Pa said this morning, he ain't on his own this time," contributed Brian, "he got other workers with him. Ya know how he is, feels responsible an' all."

"I know, Brian. You're right, I can't hold that against him. Never mind," Michaela concluded, mustering up a smile for her children's sake. "Let's have breakfast."

* * *

[1] See short story "The Loving Tree"

[2] See short story "Missing Words"


	3. Chapter 3

**sc. 2**

 _Wake up, wake up, wake up!... Ain't ya gonna wake up?_

Jared nearly jumped out of his skin. Here it was, again, the strange, falsetto voice that kept taunting him. Sometimes it came from a bird perched on the window sill or it seemed to come out of a crate in the barn. It followed him wherever he went, always piping up about the silliest things, pointing out the ugliest aspects of the people he met, repeating to him that he had to stop thinking altogether, because everybody could see what he was thinking and how stupid he was.

There had been times when he had shouted at this voice to shut up, just to shut up, leave him in peace, but it kept bouncing around him with its nerve-racking laugh. He had tried to smash it with whatever furniture or heavy object he could handle, but relying only on his ears to locate it, it was downright impossible to beat the hell out of that evil... what was it, exactly? Jared had no idea, but one thing he knew was that this malevolent, immaterial voice was driving him crazy!

Today was no exception. Jared tried hard to ignore it as he prepared for Church.

 _Gonna be late, gonna be late, he he he_ , it cackled, _and everybody will look at you, laugh at you, point their fingers and say that you're so, soooooo dumb_. _Idiot, idiot, idiot!_ it chanted.

Jared trembled with barely contained fury. He could handle it when the voice only prattled about trivial things, however annoying it was to be forced to listen to it. Once, he had crammed swabs of cotton in his ears, thinking that it would suffice to stop it from constantly grating on his nerves. Not only did it not work at all, but it had obviously vexed the voice, which had become even more relentless, barely allowing him to any decent sleep for weeks.

Yet, when the voice was tormenting him like today, it was well-nigh impossible to withstand its abuse. Jared was already at the end of his tether by the time the clock struck eight. He howled as if in agony, took hold of the only chair he had not broken yet and started chasing after the invisible devil, who only laughed nastily at his vain attempts. After a few minutes of this wild-goose chase, Jared stormed out of the house to escape from that debilitating torment. He careened heedlessly into the woods, as if Satan itself was on his heels, never stopping to catch his breath, driven by a frenzied dread that seemed to have no way out.

The sudden ringing of a church bell stopped him dead in his tracks. To Jared's harassed soul, had never anything sounded so heavenly than in this moment of desperation. As if mesmerized, he turned around and ran toward this God-sent beckoning of safety. A church surely would provide him with a secure shelter from whatever evil was haunting him. When the ringing stopped, Jared felt lost, abandoned. "No! Noooooo!" he bellowed desperately, running impossibly faster. Within minutes, he came out of the woods, and immediately spotted the church. He rushed towards it, until he finally collapsed on its steps, breathless.

 _Ha ha ha!_ _Ya really thought ya could get rid of me that easy, didn't ya? You such a halfwit, ya fool!_

Jared bellowed again, scrambling to his feet, and almost broke down the church door in his mad dash inside. He barely felt all eyes on him as he threw himself at the preacher's feet, panting, moaning pitifully: "Stop, stop, make 'em stop, please Rev', make 'em stop!" But the next thing he knew was a large number of ominous shadows hovering over him; cold, long, bony hands reaching for him to grab and turn him over; ugly, distorted faces leaned toward him, their gaping mouths twisted in monstrous, cruel grins and chanting a loud, primeval-sounding mumbo jumbo. In utter terror, Jared screamed and thrashed about, trying to shake off the hold 'they' had on him, but he could not, for his panic, rather than fueling his fighting instinct, seemed to sap any energy he had left.

 _Jared… Jared? Look at me… that's it, you just look at me. Nobody's gonna hurt you, I promise._

Suddenly his nightmare receded, and he could only see, and hear, the angel who was presently bent over him, her soft hazel eyes brimming with compassion, her blond hair glowing like an aura. He finally quieted down, as the angelic being next to him seemed to fend off the terrifying creatures that had tried to get him.

A mere few minutes later - or were they seconds… or hours? he really could not tell - another feminine face, this time haloed with flames and her features set in an unforgiving scowl, approached him. He barely had time to register that she had a syringe in her hand before he felt the needle piercing the flesh of his arm, and then…

Nothing. His eyes slipped shut on their own volition, and he felt his body and mind float away into complete senselessness.

* * *

"What's the Hell…?" someone shouted. Yet so stunned was the congregation that nobody even frowned or protested at the blasphemy. A few children, Katie included, were crying, frightened by the commotion.

Michaela's eyes met Andrew's. Her new son-in-law looked deeply troubled by the perturbing scene that had just occurred, most of all by Colleen's role in it. Michaela could also sense the congregation's shocked reaction, but as far as she was concerned, Jared's behavior merely brought forth grim memories of the days she had spent in the asylums and the almshouses of Boston, doing her best to care for the unfortunate souls who had ended up there, some after years of prison, neglect, abuse of all sorts, their minds damaged beyond recovery. She could only hope that Jared's spectacular delirium was a unique occurrence, and that after some rest, he would be restored to his usual, happy-go-lucky self.

"What's wrong with him?" Jake asked imperiously, eyeing her mistrustfully. She could read his thoughts quite easily: Jake obviously did not want another fiasco like the one with Martin. He also looked as shaken as the rest of the townspeople. Most of them were pale-faced and tight-lipped. She quirked her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders to signify that she could not deliver a precise diagnosis until she knew more about the circumstances.

She turned around, craning her neck to get a glimpse of Mrs. McAllister, whom she had spotted earlier in one of the back pews. Jared's mother seemed on the verge of fainting, but as long as she was not going into hysterics, she could wait till her son was settled in the clinic to be cared for. Michaela beckoned Matthew, Daniel and some other men to lift to Jared's listless body.

"Could you please take him to the clinic, gentlemen?" she queried. As she stood up, she came face-to-face with Colleen. Upset was written all over the young woman's face, still she maintained her composure as she asked:

"Do you have any idea what's happened to him, Ma? What could have put him in such a... state?"

Michaela was torn. Oh yes, she had a fair idea, she had seen this kind of things often enough! Yet, she pondered telling Colleen straight off what she thought about it. Her daughter was no doubt familiar with sickness, death, pain of losing a patient, powerlessness at helping another... But Jared was a friend of Colleen's, and Michaela was not sure her daughter was ready to cope with seeing someone she cared about waste away, less than a year after losing her best friend Becky.

Seeing her mother hesitate, Colleen demanded:

"Ma, the truth!"

"I'm not sure yet," Michaela answered reluctantly, "I still need to learn more about how he's been doing these last few hours, the last few days, too. For all we know, he can simply be reacting to something toxic or it could be a cerebral tumor... The only thing I'm sure of is that Jared isn't drunk, I would have smelled it on his breath."

Taking her mother's arguments at face value, Colleen nodded in acknowledgment then turned around to join Andrew, who was ensuring that Jared's mother was recovering from the ordeal, as well as some other shocked ladies.

Michaela took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and followed the men out of the church.

At the Clinic, Michaela had Jared settled in on the downstairs recovery room. A few minutes later, the young man's mother turned up. Eyeing her pale face and trembling lips, Michaela knew better than to press her with questions right away, it could wait until the sedative she hade given Jared wore off, unless Mr. McAllister, who had been sent for, could provide some information. Colleen had also sought Paul Jameson, Jared's closest friend, for any piece of information about Jared's whereabouts and behavior of late.

Paul could not provide much, as he confessed that he had not seen his friend in weeks.

"Besides", the young man added as he ruffled his hair embarrassedly, "we had a… sorta fallin' out, last time I saw him. Been helpin' him build his homestead, was supposed to be his best man for his weddin' and all… but, I dunno what happened, he broke things off with Susie, stopped visitin' any of us, and when I went to see 'em, he barely said a word, and got mad as a hornet when I asked him what was goin' on, threw me out. We've all left him be ever since, I guess."

Michaela and Andrew exchanged concerned glances which did not get past Colleen.

"What is it? What do you think?" the young woman asked, her eyes darting back and forth from one doctor to the other.

"Well it appears that, prior to this… fit, Jared has exhibited signs of social withdrawal, from his friends, his own fiancée…" Michaela enunciated.

"What does it mean?" Colleen pressed anxiously.

"It can have different meanings, actually…"

"But?"

"But…" Michaela sighed, unsure about divulging her suspicions before she could ascertain her diagnosis. Though her doctoring instinct pointed in a definite direction, it was still too early to state anything out loud, for there were still chances that it might be something else, like she had said earlier. Jared's moody, withdrawn behavior might be a coincidence, for all they knew! "We need to obtain more information, see how Jared is going to behave once he comes around. Maybe he will be able to tell us more about his symptoms."

"So you think he's gonna be better when he wakes up? That… whatever happened in Church was only temporary?"

"I'm not sure of anything, Colleen…"

"What about you, Andrew?" The young woman turned her husband. "Surely you know something, don't you?"

Andrew shrugged noncommittally. "I haven't had much experience in this field of medicine, you know… My knowledge is mostly theoretical…"

"But you suspect somethin', both of you. I can see it! Ma, you told me that you spent a lot of time in asylums, back when you were in medical school, you must've seen folks with this kind of behavior, right?"

Michaela reluctantly nodded. "I have, Colleen, but as I said, I don't have enough elements right now to even venture a prognosis. We must keep a close watch on Jared, then collect as much information about his behavior, and for how long. In this case, a misdiagnosis could have terrible consequences on his life."

Colleen shuddered: "I guess that why a doctor shouldn't treat family and friends." Her mother gave her shoulder a sympathetic squeeze, before she went out in search of the patient's father.


End file.
